okay.
So. I have not posted in what looks like four weeks. Which is pretty crazy but I don’t think anyone really cares. Fifty followers? Win. So once I get back from vacation I will start up again. But for now. An update on my life.
Shit is changing. I am engaged as of the nineteenth. Jolly times there. But for now my boyfriend is leaving in a few days but until then we are on vacation. But in all honesty, who gives a flying fuck? I just hate people. Is that harsh? I really do. Maybe I’m two faced to all of humanity with a few exceptions. But aside from that, I feel my toleration is growing thin. And new tumblr profiles are just adding to my frustration with man kind. This post is not my attempt to be something I’m not. I won’t sit here and try to be hip or use words that are practically foreign to me. And by that I mean, words that I just don’t associate with. Makes no sense. One person in particular really drove the iron nail right through my frontal lobe only moments ago and I guess the blood is still only just spewing it’s way out.
i hate.
People who think they are good photographers but take pictures of shit. Especially when they are proud of what they capture. ‘No, you suck…really really bad’. It makes me want to steal their cameras and throw it off a cliff. And in the case I am speaking of, I’d throw it off the fucking cliff that they were trying so hard to artistically take a photo of but failed ever so terribly. I suck at photography so I quit. Ugh.
I am so ranty lately.
wut.
First off. I hear fucking fireworks. It’s July 24th. Who the fucked died or what not? I don’t know. Fireworks I avoid but I feel we use them to celebrate dead things and shit from the past. So maybe my grandpa died. I don’t know. I don’t know. Wut? I just took my medication so I’m not making much sense right now.
Second…on? I recently just got out of the hospital, and I’d like to say that’s the real reason that I haven’t posted anything in a bloody long time, but to be honest I’m just a lazy ass and a.) don’t have a zillion and a half followers that thrive off my shit b.) am not creative enough to keep this shut updated and c.) if I really needed to update my life I’d have a Twitter.
Thirdly, which probably institutes the use of ‘secondly’ above, my thirty day challenge was a fail. So blow me and I am just going to start off where I left off tomorrow. Nah, tomorrow is Sunday and I love Jesus and the Lord and need to set aside my day to that. LOL JK, I’m a Jew atheist thing! So yeah, I’ll vegg out and post random shit that will fill up errrr bodies dashboard. My follower count I can already sense is depleting.
Fourthly, I don’t really sound like such a bigot ass hole all the time. I promise it’s the drugs. And I’m watching the History Channel and it’s on some dangerous airports and it’s freakin’ me out. Update….complete. Man, I’m annoying as…stuff. Wit fail.
16824.) I wish the world of Harry Potter was real. More than anything in the world. And sometimes, I like to pretend it is. And that I’m just a muggle.
(via blogsecret)
boyfriend.
Steven David Barrett, I don’t even know where to begin with this one. I know it is for a crush but this isn’t just a crush, this is love. I know he and I have been together for only a few months but the fact we’ve been best friends since day one, nine years ago, changes everything. I got to fall in love with my best friend. And I know that many people are lucky enough to have this happen but with him it’s different. Before we were holding hands and kissing each other every chance we had we were simply just hanging out. Just lounging in his basement watching episodes of House and CSI Las Vegas has turned into something so much more. Even now we aren’t too far away from our old ways, we still do the stupid stuff like staying up and talking about how the night is always so much more beautiful and walking to anywhere that we can. He’s just someone that takes me for who I am never anything more or anything less. He’s my everything and I sincerely can’t imagine a life without him, just yesterday I asked him if we could be together forever. And even though my forever is only a short ways away he still sticks around. I’d marry him if I had the chance. Come fall, things will change and he won’t be around to hold me at any moment or to tell me he’s in love with me, and that scares me. I never want things to change between us and I am going to try my hardest to be sure it never happens. He’s the absolute love of my life. Staying up until three each morning just so I can get in as much time as possible with him, he follows my weird ways of thinking. I need him to breathe and move. He’s my big spoon and my hand to hold. I have these images of my imagination that flutter in my mind every so often of he and I in years to come with kids and a house of our own. He’ll be an amazing dad, I already know it, and for whoever gets to call him their baby next is one lucky son of a gun. He’s what’s making all this so hard for me, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. “Have you ever heard that song that makes you just feel amazing all over? Well, with you that feeling doesn’t last only three minutes. It keeps going. And when you aren’t there it’s like that amazing feeling becomes a beast and tears at me. It’s like a physical pain that I can’t handle. You take that away. But Nils, that doesn’t even begin to explain how I know that I’m in love with you, it’s just all I can muster for an explanation at the moment”. He’s perfect, I tell you. Everything he says makes my heart melt in a way that only he knows how. He’s with me by choice and will stay with me until the end. And I’m thankful for that. I never want him to go away, his voice, his warmth, his length, his words, his everything. I’m in love with the biggest fool of my life. And again, this is short but I am getting overly emotional. Seriously, I am crying. I love him more than words could even describe, so this is just a short failed attempt.
